weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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