Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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