Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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