Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
