the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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