I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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