used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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