dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
