@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
