hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
