Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
