nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
