How'd it feel making her break her religion?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
