OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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