she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
