I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
