my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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