Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
