All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize