I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize