Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
