my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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