this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
