yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
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she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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