Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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