I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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