think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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