you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
