he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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