i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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