I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
