I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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