It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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