Those balls look pretty dangerous.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
