i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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