I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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