My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
