And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she looked like the before picture.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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