you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
