vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
