Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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