i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
