omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
