Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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