just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
