I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
