Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
