Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
