and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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