No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
