You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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