im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
