Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
