so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The best revenge is premature balding
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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