She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
