He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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