We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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