How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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