i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
