Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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