Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize