I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All the doctor said was why
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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