this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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