Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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