Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
