so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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