I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
